Category: X-Men: Evolution
Rated: T for language, violence, and drinking. Also implied sexuality.
Summary: Things get hot in the brotherhood house after a long week of shower break ins, wall hexing, 80’s music, and drunken parties. [One Shot. Major Jonda. Hints of Lancitty, Tabbietro, and Romy]
Wanda entered the living room of the boarding house, and once more had to control her temper…settling for a twitching eye at the moment. She stared at the boys sitting in front of the television and glared. “Do you have to watch that again?” The television had been set on the stupid television show for over three days now. Of course, not having cable – and only relying on antenna reception – did not help her case. She wondered what she got out of living in the boarding house period.
Lance just shook his head, almost as if he was saying the choice was beyond him. She figured as much; Lance didn’t have much say in the activities of the group anymore. He just liked to get pissed off and knock the house around. Her brother, Pietro, Pyro, and Toad just sat back laughing insanely every few moments. They were watching another episode of South Park. The stupid show drove her crazy; all she had to do was hear the stupid voices and she was ready to hex the damn TV across the street. She failed to find the humor in it.
“Why don’t you just come sit next to me, Poopsie?” Toad grinned, showing off his infamous green smile. Like usual, he was using his pathetic pet names, for some reason, thinking Wanda wanted something to do with him. He had been harassing her since the time she had arrived, and had yet to get a clue.
Wanda thought she had just thrown up in her mouth. She composed herself and glared. “Unless you feel like frog legs for dinner, I would suggest you keep your slimy mouth shut.”
He furrowed his eyebrows almost innocently. “Where are you going to get frog’s legs? We have no money until…” No one ever said that he was the sharpest tool in the shed.
Pietro whipped his head around quickly and smacked him. “She-was-talking-about-you-you-dip-shit!
Toad only bit his lip and then grinned up at Wanda. “You are so sweet when you are angry, snookums.”
Wanda just couldn’t hold it in any longer. Her arm shot out and instantly a wave of blue flew from her finger tips, striking the frog-like boy off of the couch and right into the top of the TV. She grinned triumphantly at the sound of her house mates’ groans. She turned and made her way towards the kitchen. For some reason she got great pleasure in ruining their fun.
“Did ya have ta ruin the reception, shiela?” Pyro followed her into the kitchen bravely. No one had ever said the fire starter was very smart either. Of course, it was a perfect opportunity to get under Wanda’s skin…so he took it.
Wanda spun around so fast that he almost collided with her. “My name is not Shiela.”
The fiery mutant cocked an amused eyebrow. “Well I’m sorry, love. You’ll jus’ have to excuse the accent. See, I ain’t from around here.”
She looked unimpressed. “You will call me by my code name, and nothing else.”
The boy snorted. “Well as much as it suits ya, love, I’d like ta protest.”
Her eyebrows rose, once again revealing an annoyed face. “And where exactly do you think that will get you, huh firefly?” She poked a finger into his chest, earning a snicker from Avalanche and Blob.
John, however, just ignored the two boys and looked Wanda in the eyes. “Ya didn’t have ta ruin our show, love.”
“I’ll ruin more than that if you don’t get out of my face!” Her hand once again began to glow that eerie shade of blue and she held it up closer to his face so that he would – hopefully – get the hint. “And you’ve been watching it for three days!”
Pietro sped up to the two bickering teenagers and held his hands out between them. “Why-don’t-you-two-just-let-it-go,-huh? We-can-fix-the-TV…”
“Stop kissing my ass, Pietro.” Wanda snapped at him. She loved her brother to bits, but he could be so cheesy sometimes. Quicksilver only narrowed his eyes and sped back towards the TV, helping Toad up from the floor. She glared and hexed him into the television once more, hopefully ending its pathetic South Park filled life.
Pyro’s face only twisted into that cocky smirk of his. “Why you so bitchy, shiela?”
“Maybe because you annoy me!” She turned towards Lance and Pietro, “Why couldn’t he have just gone to Xavier’s with the other two buffoons?”
Pyro snorted. “I never thought a stick up tha rear end would be too appealin’, love.”
She glared, “It’s better than your head, isn’t it?”
John shrugged. “I suppose the stick would be the more comfortable option…what do you say, love? What do you like getting up…?” He didn’t even finish the sentence. Wanda had swung her arm so fast that he had hit the wall quicker than she could have said the word ‘hex’. Her cheeks burned feverishly. The other boys said nothing, only went about their business.
“I’m going to my room.” Wanda huffed and spun on her heel.
“Well, that was just not nice, shiela!” Pyro yelled from his spot on the floor. He rubbed the back of his orange hair and grimaced. “I’m gonna get a goose egg there!”
“Good!” She screamed over her shoulder. The damn boy had only been bothering her since the day that he had arrived on their door step. At first she could given two shits less about him; at that point in time they hadn’t even had a conversation before. But, like the other boys she lived with, he was quickly able to get under her skin. So much so that she got flustered just at the very sight of him. He probably bothered her even more than the other boys did.
“I think ya owe me an apology, lady!” He yelled. She sighed; she heard his footsteps quickly approaching. Without even turning around, she flicked her wrist and hexed him into the wall once more. He yelped in pain.
“You getting bored yet?” She asked with a smirk. He rubbed a hand up and down his lower back. Making him feel pain was really starting to make her happy.
He stood slowly, and once again began to follow her. She started up the stairs once more towards her bedroom and sighed.
“Is that all you can do, shiela? Is throw people into walls?” He shouted from behind her. When she stopped in her tracks, she heard Pie and Toad whispering for him to stop. But being the idiot that he was, he did not. “Is it? I mean ya just throw ole Todd inta the wall, Pietro in the wall, John in ta the wall. Lance inta the wall. Toad inta the wall again. X-Men to the wall. Someone burps they go to the wall. Someone talks, inta the wall! Play with me ole flamies and inta the wall I go! Will I eat wall if I breathe too? Why the wall, Wanda?! Why?!” He waved his arms around crazily for emphasis.
She rolled her eyes at his obvious stupidity. “Where would you like to go then, lackey?”
He cocked an eyebrow at the name. “Personally, love, I would love to be on an island by me self. One with a volcano, then I could make all the big flamies I wanted. I would bring you with me though…stranded and alone for entertainment…” She had enough.
“You don’t like the wall?” She held outs hers hands and tossed him down the half flight of stairs and out the front door. “Have fun on the lawn then.”
… … …
“John can you please turn that off, man! How can you listen to that shit?” Lance Alvers was complaining from the next room. Pyro could only laugh maniacally and continued dancing with his fire objects. Toad – like usual – seemed to be the only one getting a kick out of his activities.
When Wanda had destroyed the television earlier, the only source of entertainment they had been left with was an old radio, and unfortunately for everyone else in the house, the only station that came in was a cheesy Bayville 80’s station.
Pyro liked to make the best of his situations. The songs were silly and that made it fun to dance to. So he created all sorts of objects with his lighter flames and ran around like a lunatic.
Pietro had left the house as quickly as possible, mentioning something about some girl he had to see. Blob didn’t move, like usual, and Lance bitched. Only his little Toad friend was amused, as he sat on the back of a beat up purple chair chuckling at Pyro’s actions.
Pyro just grinned like a maniac and changed his flame to look like a marching cat. “We can dance if we want to, we can leave your friends behind, 'cause your friends don't dance and if they don't dance, well they're no friends of mine!” He jumped up and down from one foot to the other as he sang, alternating his arms as one curved in front of his waist and the other over his head.
Lance glared. “I swear to god Pyro if you sing one more word of that song I’ll send you to the center of the Earth!”
Toad just rolled onto his back laughing. “That song is so cheese, yo!”
Pyro grinned; if Toad liked it, all the more reason to continue. “I say, we can dance, we can dance, everything out of control…” He spun around, only to come face to face with Blob. “Oh, hey there, Freddy! Do ya wanna dance, mate?”
Fred bit his lip and looked at Lance, giving him a stiff nod. “I hate to do this to ya, buddy, but…” He stretched out his arm and in one swift motion brought it down on top of the radio, crushing it with his weight. Pyro’s once beaming smile turned into a sad frown.
“What the bloody hell did ya do that for, mate?” His hands fell to his side, and his fire-cat friend shriveled up until it was no longer there.
“I don’t like to fight with you guys but you were driving me crazy!” Blob mused.
“Oh,” John replied. He put his hands on his hips and then grinned. “Well, I’m sure that we can find somethin’ else to do, huh mates?” He lit up his lighter and a large clown appeared in front of them. “Who likes the circus?”
Fred growled. “I don’t.”
Pyro grinned smugly. “Why not, Freddy? ‘Fraid of clowns, are we?”
“No! I don’t like when people get laughed at!” He sat down on his chair in a huff.
Pyro smiled at him and made his clown grow another foot taller and cartwheel. “Ain’t anyone laughin’ at ya here, mate! We just havin’ some fun, aren’t we frog-boy?”
Todd just shrugged. “What ever you say fire-boy.”
Lance rolled his eyes at the boys before the ever growing fire started to worry him. “John I think you should ease it up, man…you starting to scorch the ceiling!” He pointed up towards the roof and stood up from his seat.
Pyro just continued to laugh. He knew that he tended to lose a little bit of control once he started getting giggly; but he just loved his fire so much. Nothing brought him more joy then his ‘flammies’. He let out another roar of laughter and the clown grew a few more inches.
“That’s enough John!” Lance yelled again as he made his way over towards Pyro; his arm was extended as he tried swiping the small piece of metal that was John’s zippo.
Pyro’s smirk widened and he made a sweeping motion with his arms, making Lance just back away from the heat. He had gotten a little carried away again. It wasn’t until he heard the door fly open and a screeching voice that the flames died down.
“What on earth are you doing to my house you lunatic?!” Mystique stood at the door seething.
John looked above him and noticed that the paint had started to bubble, and that his corner of the room had looked a little bit black. He gave her a sheepish grin and tucked his hands behind his back. “Ello Raven!”
“What did you just call me, you disgusting swine?” She bellowed, fists clenching at her sides.
“I’ll be goin’ now!” He bellowed and took off up the stairs as fast as he could. He heard her loud footsteps clomping up the stairs behind him. He huffed and sped up.
“I know where you bedroom is, you idiot! I am not afraid to kick your door down!”
He gulped and ran into the first room to his left. If Mystique was going to his room, surely she wouldn’t find him in here right? In the…bathroom?
He looked up and was met with one very red and very angry face. “Why ‘ello Wanda!”
“Get out of here!” She screamed and her hands started to turn blue. She had no clothes on, just a very small and ratty white towel. Her hair was dripping wet; she must have just stepped out of the shower. Pyro was now double dead.
He smiled at her. “Fancy meeting you here!” She seethed once more and pointed out the door. John just smirked. “Its no big deal ya know, I think you look much better this way!” There was a loud cracking sound, some splintering, and then he hit the wall. Again.
“Why the wall, Shiela? WHY?” He bellowed as Mystique dove on top of him.
… … …
“What did you see? Did you see boobies?” Toad hopped around him spastically as he tried to ice his face.
“No mate, I did not see boobies, will you lay off?” He scowled, which was unusual for him. Toad was really starting to annoy him. Pyro was usually very friendly, but now that the subject of a naked Wanda came up, the amphibious mutant had been breathing down his neck every second.
“You mean to tell me you got into the bathroom as she was showering and didn’t take advantage of that? You’re crazy, yo!” Toad’s eyes glazed over into what John could only decipher as a far away love sick look.
“Why do you like her?” Pyro asked him.
Toad’s eyes nearly popped out of his skull. “How could I not! She’s beautiful, sexy, wonderful, and fun, bad…I could go on for days!” He folded his hands together and sighed dreamily.
“But she doesn’t seem to like you, mate.” Pyro pointed out. Way to state the obvious, he thought.
Toad gave him an incredulous look. “Of course she does! She just doesn’t know it yet, yo. One day she’ll realize I’ve been right in front of her face this whole entire time.” He smiled at himself.
Pyro cocked an amused eyebrow. “Sure mate, but what’ll you do until then? I mean, ya can only be thrown inta the damn wall so many times…”
“Oh it’s only a love tap,” Toad offered, looking to assure both of them of that fact.
“Right,” John replied, moving the ice pack to the back of his head. He winced at the pain. Not only did he have a collection of bruises and goose eggs growing there from the many hex bolts to the wall, but now he had a beating from Mystique added to that. It wasn’t one of the fire starter’s better days.
“What-are-babbling-about-you-idiot?” Pietro blasted through the room and stopped right next to the pyromaniac’s chair.
John lifted one eye and looked at Pietro. “Frog boy is still convinced he’s gonna marry ya sister.”
Pietro snorted. “You-still-aren’t-over-that-are-you? Wanda-doesn’t-want-anybody-she-doesn’t-n
Toad glared and looked at Pyro. “John saw her naked.”
“Ya bastard!” Pyro yelled as Quicksilver smacked him in the back of the head, further adding to his head injuries. “I didn’t see anything, dammit!”
Pietro narrowed his eyes. “Why-were-you-in-the-same-room-with-her-w
“Fuck off, speedy,” Pyro glared at him. Pietro said nothing and only ran circles around him laughing until Pyro’s chair fell over. “Oh god, what did I do to deserve such pain?” He bellowed from the floor.
“Perhaps it’s your complete and utter lack of intelligence?” A feminine voice offered from behind him. Pietro stopped spinning and waved at his sister. Toad tried to latch onto her leg, only to have her kick him off and gag. “What are you doing lying on the floor, anyways? Do you realize what kinda bugs might be crawling around down there?” She asked.
Pyro cocked an eyebrow and grinned lazily. “So I see we’re back on speaking terms, Shiela! How great it is!” He grabbed onto her hands and attempted to hoist himself up. She glared dangerously back at him and let go, letting him fall to the floor.
“Don’t touch me.” She spat.
“Shiela, the least you can do is help a chum up after dumping him into the wall so many times today.” He whined from the floor.
She kicked his arm as she walked by. “My name is Wanda, and I will throw you into the wall as I please.”
“Whatever turns your crank, love? Listen, frog boy here was wonderin’ if ya would take him on a date tonight.” He wiggled his eyebrows at her as he turned onto his stomach and began to hoist himself up.
She visibly shuddered and hexed a dirty sock into his mouth. “I would suggest you never speak of such a thing again, Pyro.” As soon as the sound of whimpering came from Toad’s mouth, another flash of eerie blue shot across the room and hit him in the chest. Pyro laughed out loud as he rubbed the grime from his tongue.
“That’s tha way to teach ‘im, love!” He brought himself to his feet and dusted his jeans off. “Look Froggy, I tol’ ya she wasn’t interested!”
“Shut up, Pyro!” Wanda bellowed. She turned her back and began to walk towards the couch. John looked at Toad and winked; Toad gave him a questioning look before he saw the Pyromaniac glance back towards the Scarlet Witch.
“Hey, Wanda?” John asked softly. He raked a hand through his hair and smiled as she turned around.
His grin turned into a smirk. “When did you get that little tattoo on your….” He flew across the room once more and began to laugh hysterically. Toad jumped as fast his body could muster towards Pyro and grabbed him by the shirt collar.
“Tell me, tell me, tell me, tell me, and tell me!” He bellowed at a rate that would make Pietro jealous. Pyro only rolled his eyes and pushed the younger boy off of him.
“In time, young mate.”
Wanda turned around and glared at him. “You will tell him nothing of the sort.” She crossed her arms over her chest and tucked her hip out to the side. John grinned at her; she looked so tasty when she was angry with him.
“I love it when you keep the intimate things between us, love.” Pyro gave her a suggestive wink. She growled and threw her hands up in the air, storming back up towards her bedroom.
John looked at Todd and smiled. “I think she likes me, mate.”
Toad looked at Wanda and then back at John. “I don’t know, yo. I think she still has the hots for me.” John said nothing and only blinked at him for a few minutes. What could he say? The boy was damn persistent.
… … …
Three days later, Wanda made her way towards the living room where Lance and Pietro had been seated. She heard them discussing something about alcohol and people. The conversation had drifted towards the kitchen, where she was previously seated as Blob had made her breakfast. She folded her arms over her chest and leaned on the wall to her right. “What are you guys planning?”
Pietro’s head snapped around to meet her gaze and he smiled. “Why-a-party-of-course!”
Wanda cocked an eyebrow and looked to Lance. “Why?”
Lance shrugged and scratched the back of his head. Pietro smirked and beat him to the punch. “He-wants-to-get-back-together-with-his-c
Wanda snorted. Lance and Kitty broke up way too often; she often wondered why they even wasted their time doing so. She thought they should just either pick one way or the other. It annoyed her. “So what’s in it for you, brother?”
Pietro smirked and sped to her side. She was unfazed as she was used to such actions from him. “Why-ladies-of-course!”
Wanda rolled her eyes. “Of course, why would I think anything else? So when is this party?”
“Tonight,” Lance muttered.
Wanda’s eyebrows rose. “So soon? How will people know?”
Pietro looked at her as if it was obvious. “I-do-have-super-speed-you-know!”
“He went to the school.” Lance added.
Wanda rolled her eyes and threw her hands in the air. “So there will be a bunch of idiots in our house! That’s fucking wonderful, Pietro!”
Her brother only rolled his eyes. “I-have-supplies-to-steal! Be-back-later!” He sped out of the house like a bat out of hell, leaving her alone in the room with Avalanche.
She looked to him. “Are you sure this is a good idea?”
He shrugged his shoulders and ran a hand through his hair. “I don’t know. All I know is Kitty likes parties and I want a chance to get her alone.”
“So getting her drunk at your house is the best idea?” Wanda smirked and started to laugh.
Lance glared. “To talk, Wanda.”
Wanda rolled her eyes. “Whatever. Look, Mystique is going to be pissed off you know that right?”
“She won’t find out.” He pointed out.
Her eyebrows rose and she stuffed her hands into the pockets of her dark red trench coat. “And if she does?”
“We blame, Pietro.” Lance concluded as if it were the most obvious answer.
“She will probably kill you all.” Wanda supplied after a moment’s hesitation.
Lance narrowed his eyes. “And not you?”
Wanda snorted. “Mystique isn’t that stupid; she’s knows better than that.”
Lance considered that before nodding his head. “Huh.” He walked off towards the kitchen to get his fill on breakfast before it was all gone; Blob was the only one in the kitchen and he would eat until there was nothing left. Wanda only shook her head, and turned around to come face to face with a wet and almost nude Pyro.
Her cheeks burned and she looked away. “Do you mind?”
He grinned and made his way towards the washing machine in the back room. “Not at all, love, I just need ta find somethin’ to wear!”
“Why can’t you just bring your clothes with you? Why must you all insist walking around with towels on?” She tried to hide her face from him, lords knows what he would think if he caught her blushing.
Pyro put his hands on his waist as he looked at her. His wet hair was standing up messily and he had a goofy grin on his face. “You did the same thing!”
“You walked in on me, you idiot! You honestly think I would wear one of those with Toad around?”
“Well…” He put his finger on his chin as he pretended to be in deep thought. “What if was just me? Would it be okay then?”
Wanda shuddered. “If you were wearing more clothing I would send you into the wall.”
She began to walk up the stairs towards her bedroom. He followed her up to trek to his own room. She tried her hardest not to look at him, knowing that she may get caught looking at something; lords knows she would never hear the end of it. She heard him chuckle behind her. “Why? Are you afraid you may see something that you like?”
“No, I don’t want to have to gauge my eyes out with a rusty fork.” She deadpanned.
“Rusty? Why rusty, shiela? You should use clean utensils when performing tasks on yourself.” He said it as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.
Her cheeks burned as she stopped in front of her bedroom door. “I do not perform anything on myself.”
A massive smirk played across his face as he clutched his clothes to his chest. “Are you sure? Ya know that it’s perfectly natural, love.” He winked at her and grinned.
“I hate you!” She spun around and slammed her door in his face. The nerve he had! She could not believe that he would bring that sort of thing up to her. She flopped down on her bed and picked up the novel she was reading. She wasn’t quite sure about her feelings about this party coming up. Her house mates were idiots, Mystique was psychotic, and when you factor in moronic teenagers and alcohol, something bad was bound to happen.
She sighed and began to read. ‘Maybe I should just hide in my room.’
… … …
A/N: I wrote this a long time ago. LOL, whatever though, it was fun.
Disclaimer: I do not own X-Men Evolution or the characters.